Is Anyone Else An Emotional Idiot? 🤔

No? Just me?

Have you ever heard of “Emotional Intelligence”?

Apparently, it was all the rage back in the 1990s.

I missed it, along with crimped waves and NSYNC, because I was too busy being a “grown-up” even though I was still listening to Metallica’s Ride the Lightning — on vinyl — but I digress.

If you also missed it, let me catch you up.

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, while also recognizing and understanding emotions in others, and using all of this information to create social encounters that are the equivalent of sitting on the floor with six-week-old Golden Retriever puppies climbing all over you and licking your face while you giggle uncontrollably and believe the world is perfect.

And while being love swarmed by six-week-old Golden Retriever puppies is my favorite way to spend forever, I also know I sound cynical and sarcastic. Not surprisingly, it turns out these are both signs of low emotional intelligence.

And all this time I just thought I was Gen-X.

This interest in emotional intelligence all started because I wanted to get along better with people. While being an independent-minded, snarky introvert has served me well to this point, it does get old, and it’s hard to grow into a better person without other people.

Since the theme of this phase of my life is “letting go of what’s safe”, I let myself get curious, dove in, got a book or three, and started reading. Most of what I read seemed like common sense, nothing too difficult, and I figured I get along with people for the most part.

So I decided to take an Emotional Intelligence Appraisal. I mean, how bad could it be?

It turns out, alarmingly bad.

I got a humiliatingly low score of 58 out of 100.

Even the examples they use in the book of people with low emotional intelligence scores aren’t THAT low! 😳

Not surprisingly, of the four components that make up emotional intelligence (at least in this case), my lowest score was in self-management! 🤦🏻‍♀️

The next lowest was relationship management. And the last two — self-awareness and social awareness — were better but still anemic.

As disheartening as all of this is, though, the truth is it tracks. 💯 Not a single thing about this appraisal was off.

I used to think I would be good at this. Looking back, that may have been a classic case of “the grass is always greener on the other side of the overgrown forsythia, mostly because you can’t see through that tangled mess to know it’s actually all mud and weeds” syndrome.

Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash

So in the interest of growing, having better relationships, and ideally, being a happier person, I am embarking on an emotional intelligence journey.

Yes, this snarky, introverted Gen-Xer is going to work my way through the exercises and strategies in the book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves.

First up: self-management, obviously. At a horrifyingly low 50 out of 100, it’s the natural place to start. Wish me luck!

And send Golden Retriever puppies, please!!!!

Photo by Bharathi Kannan on Unsplash

Photo by Jorge Zapata on Unsplash