The first time I took the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, I got near zero marks for empathy. Empathy! Like EI, a measure of being human? Of course, the results were reviewed publicly with my work colleagues as part of team dynamics building or some such. "That seems right," they said. "Palmer hates people." For years, I let that brand settle on me before blowing it off and deciding the test(s) were bullsh*t. Go play with puppies...that's the intelligent move!
The thing about Myers-Briggs is it’s questions based off of ego- or something you created. The traits are not inherent- they’re learned. It is completely dependent on the data you feed it which is a derivative of your conscious thinking. Then, it produces a result and that RESULT works to further solidify what was created as truth.
In reality none of it is true. We tied our own knots. We created the facets of who we think we are, and at any time, can make a choice to be different.
"We create the facets of who we think we are" 💯 I agree we can make the choice to be different, but unraveling a story we've been telling about ourselves takes time.
My rough guess is we’re close in age. Not totally Gen-X but not ready to be called Millennial as well (why do I cringe every time I hear that word? 🤯). And, the older I get the better I feel alone, breaking free from each and every trendy self-help crap … whether they were all the rages yesterday or in the 16th century. Ok, maybe not that old… 🤪 I’m an INFJ. I deeply regret being so empathetic as it hindered my ability to make choices based upon what I wanted in life.
Purdey, I'm learning that knowing and loving who we are is the best way to live. There is no one size fits all approach. Emotional Intelligence, Myers-Briggs, whatever. None of them are THE answer, mostly because we all have slightly different questions, I think. Finding the people and styles and ideas and beliefs that resonate most with each one of us is what we're called to do. I'm sure of this.
P.S. - I cringe at "Millennial" because the people around me (all Gen-X or older) have turned it into a dirty word, a disparaging reference, doing to that generation exactly what previous generations did to us. Your designated generation identifies the significant events during your developmental years. Those helped shape who you are. They do not define who you are.
Much love to you, my friend! 💖 💖 💖 💖
P.P.S. - I'm INTP and for the life of me I can't remember why it matters. I had to look it up just to see what it was. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s so so true… You and The world and I are meant to pick up what we need to create a happy place, a cozy or not so cozy whatever we want. As long as we meet other open-minded people who don’t try to put us into tiny boxes we outgrew for decades.
In France, Millennials are seen as a generation stuck with their smartphones… kind of know it all and who claim to have invented almost everything from blue jeans to ikebana.
INTP… how interesting it is. You’re the first I meet. So glad. 😌 At some point, knowing I was an INFJ helped me to find breadcrumbs of answers to my messy questions.
A man I work with told me he's one, too -- because his wife believes he's one. There are so many more layers to this than what we see on the surface. 🤔
Okay now I want to take this test because I'm willing to bet I score lower than you even. I know I'm very self centered and the worst part is that i have no desire to change it 😂
Kristi, I used to be a huge devotee of these kinds of tests and programs and shtuff. Looking for clues to who I am and trying to figure myself out. Classic "Why do I do that?"
Lately, though, I'm treating it all as one great big experiment and all of it only means as much as I let it or make it mean. 😊
I get that. I'm pretty much the same. I like hearing what psychology has to say about me and then be like, meh. Its all good for a laugh, a lightbulb moment, or just plain entertainment.
You might want to consider not using the words "emotional idiot" on your emotional intelligence journey. </cheap unsolicited advice> 🤣
But I see you circled back later with this line in the puppy paragraph "I also know I sound cynical and sarcastic. Not surprisingly, it turns out these are both signs of low emotional intelligence."
I don't know which test this was... What I do know is that often cynicism and sarcasm can disguise themselves with humor, which is so, so so good for us. We gotta be careful, though, because humor can double as an armor shield. Sometimes, life is funny. Sometimes, the world is burning and it's utterly hilarious. But sometimes, humor is completely inappropriate, and during those times, we may recognize that we're using it to hide our true emotions about something, or someone.
"But sometimes, humor is completely inappropriate, and during those times, we may recognize that we're using it to hide our true emotions about something, or someone."
The first time I took the Myers-Briggs personality assessment, I got near zero marks for empathy. Empathy! Like EI, a measure of being human? Of course, the results were reviewed publicly with my work colleagues as part of team dynamics building or some such. "That seems right," they said. "Palmer hates people." For years, I let that brand settle on me before blowing it off and deciding the test(s) were bullsh*t. Go play with puppies...that's the intelligent move!
"For years, I let that brand settle on me..."
Oh, how hard I feel this!
Puppies FTW!!!!! 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶
The thing about Myers-Briggs is it’s questions based off of ego- or something you created. The traits are not inherent- they’re learned. It is completely dependent on the data you feed it which is a derivative of your conscious thinking. Then, it produces a result and that RESULT works to further solidify what was created as truth.
In reality none of it is true. We tied our own knots. We created the facets of who we think we are, and at any time, can make a choice to be different.
"We create the facets of who we think we are" 💯 I agree we can make the choice to be different, but unraveling a story we've been telling about ourselves takes time.
And here we all are on Substack, unraveling ours. GO US!!!! 🙌 ❤
My rough guess is we’re close in age. Not totally Gen-X but not ready to be called Millennial as well (why do I cringe every time I hear that word? 🤯). And, the older I get the better I feel alone, breaking free from each and every trendy self-help crap … whether they were all the rages yesterday or in the 16th century. Ok, maybe not that old… 🤪 I’m an INFJ. I deeply regret being so empathetic as it hindered my ability to make choices based upon what I wanted in life.
Purdey, I'm learning that knowing and loving who we are is the best way to live. There is no one size fits all approach. Emotional Intelligence, Myers-Briggs, whatever. None of them are THE answer, mostly because we all have slightly different questions, I think. Finding the people and styles and ideas and beliefs that resonate most with each one of us is what we're called to do. I'm sure of this.
P.S. - I cringe at "Millennial" because the people around me (all Gen-X or older) have turned it into a dirty word, a disparaging reference, doing to that generation exactly what previous generations did to us. Your designated generation identifies the significant events during your developmental years. Those helped shape who you are. They do not define who you are.
Much love to you, my friend! 💖 💖 💖 💖
P.P.S. - I'm INTP and for the life of me I can't remember why it matters. I had to look it up just to see what it was. 🤷🏻♀️
That’s so so true… You and The world and I are meant to pick up what we need to create a happy place, a cozy or not so cozy whatever we want. As long as we meet other open-minded people who don’t try to put us into tiny boxes we outgrew for decades.
In France, Millennials are seen as a generation stuck with their smartphones… kind of know it all and who claim to have invented almost everything from blue jeans to ikebana.
INTP… how interesting it is. You’re the first I meet. So glad. 😌 At some point, knowing I was an INFJ helped me to find breadcrumbs of answers to my messy questions.
My wife tells me, I am one too 🤝
Do you think you are?
A man I work with told me he's one, too -- because his wife believes he's one. There are so many more layers to this than what we see on the surface. 🤔
Okay now I want to take this test because I'm willing to bet I score lower than you even. I know I'm very self centered and the worst part is that i have no desire to change it 😂
Maybe I should go get the book.
Kristi, I used to be a huge devotee of these kinds of tests and programs and shtuff. Looking for clues to who I am and trying to figure myself out. Classic "Why do I do that?"
Lately, though, I'm treating it all as one great big experiment and all of it only means as much as I let it or make it mean. 😊
I get that. I'm pretty much the same. I like hearing what psychology has to say about me and then be like, meh. Its all good for a laugh, a lightbulb moment, or just plain entertainment.
You might want to consider not using the words "emotional idiot" on your emotional intelligence journey. </cheap unsolicited advice> 🤣
But I see you circled back later with this line in the puppy paragraph "I also know I sound cynical and sarcastic. Not surprisingly, it turns out these are both signs of low emotional intelligence."
I don't know which test this was... What I do know is that often cynicism and sarcasm can disguise themselves with humor, which is so, so so good for us. We gotta be careful, though, because humor can double as an armor shield. Sometimes, life is funny. Sometimes, the world is burning and it's utterly hilarious. But sometimes, humor is completely inappropriate, and during those times, we may recognize that we're using it to hide our true emotions about something, or someone.
Love you lots, my friend.
"But sometimes, humor is completely inappropriate, and during those times, we may recognize that we're using it to hide our true emotions about something, or someone."
🎯🎯🎯