Day 58 Vote for Choosing One Thing
Every action is a vote for who you want to be. What are you voting for today? 🗳️
Welcome to 100 Days to Living Aligned, your (not even close to) daily nudge to make small, intentional choices that build on each other. No overthinking. No waiting. Just single, simple actions, taken one at a time, toward becoming your future self.
I generally avoid conflict around family. Until it comes to me directly.
On a good day, when I’m feeling healthy, well-rested, and good about myself and the choices I make, I allow it to pass, like the proverbial fart in the wind. Offensive for a moment and then gone just as quickly.
When it’s not a good day, and I’m hurt and raw and worn down, then it’s a hard no.
I will call the bullshit out for what I feel it is. Emphatically and forcefully. Even though I know it won’t change anyone’s mind and even though, after the initial battle (because it’s absolutely a battle in my head) has passed, I’ll feel guilt and regret about not being more “gracious”.
The addiction to seeking validation and approval from the people in your environment invariably creeps in, and damn if going to battle with yourself isn’t a magigajillion times worse than, hell, I don’t know what. Hell? Anything?
Fighting yourself sucks.
When you base your value and your decisions on seeking validation and self-worth outside of yourself, you run into a few little hiccups.
You end up only doing the shit you think other people want you to do; and a lot of times, it may not even be what they want. It just what you think they want from you, and then you become resentful when you feel like they don’t appreciate it. (Spoiler: They’re completely unaware. You made all this shit up.)
When you do things you want to do, you feel guilty, not fulfilled or happy, and there’s just all kinds of bullshit wrapped up in that.
You lose sight of what you want because you don’t know what that is, outside of what you think other people expect from you. (Again, you’re making this shit up.)
You’re really fucking exhausted, like, all. the. time.
As my coach, Andee, has said, “There is no exoneration.”
You don’t get paid enough to allow yourself to sacrifice your life to this shit and it’s for damned sure you don’t have enough time for it.
Decide on one aspect of who want to be and then go be that one thing. Say no to anything that doesn’t serve that, and let the rest of it fuck off out of your life and take any attempted guilting with it.
Don’t make sweeping changes all at once. Just choose one, allow it to be enough for now and, anything that doesn’t align with that one thing, decline. Graciously.
